I am getting divorced. The marriage of 23 years is dead. It is what it is. Greta, my future former wife, lives in a house across from her parents in a nearby city. I live in Olathe, with my daughter, who is a senior in high school this year. My son lives in KC and attends UMKC. Split apart… granted. But… we all get along pretty well…now. The last three years were hell, for all of us. Lots of reasons, that are personal. But… Greta and I are once again becoming friends. The marriage is dead… no doubt. And I’m being OK with that… now. Haven’t always been. But… I am now.
The other night, Greta and I spoke on the phone about what went wrong in our marriage. We spent almost two hours talking about who we were when we first met, how we changed while we were married, and how we have each grown in the past 6 months. God is redeeming a friendship from a lot of pain, and hell. And it is growing… while we are apart. I don’t think that would have been possible if we still lived together. I don’t quite understand it. Not what I expected. But…
God always seems to take what we know to be true, and twist it into something better. Healthier. It’s weird, many things that used to define me no longer exist. However, I am becoming more who I was originally created to be. And its good… Really good.
Greta and I have found how valuable each of us are and we have always known we each had contributed immensely to each other’s lives. Now, we are acknowledging that no matter the reasons for the death of the marriage, and we were both wrong in our own ways, right now we are healthier. We are able to see each other with fresher eyes. And see the value of each other… as we watch from a distance. It’s twisted. We have both come across people whose divorces were marked with hatred. That is understandable, too. But one of the hallmark’s of our past together has been that we never did anything in a traditional manner. I just shake my head…Whatever.
It’s gonna be OK. God still knows who we each are. He knows where we each live. And we can be brother and sister, without being husband and wife.