Would You Like Fries with Communion?

I drive all over the county in which I live for my job. Recently, I had a little longer break between customers than I usually do, so I stopped by McDonald’s for lunch. Before going to the counter to order, I stepped into the bathroom. So…. I’m standing… facing the wall…. and this guy comes in talking.

There is nobody with him…

Then it occurs to me that he has one of those ear-pieces which connect to a cell phone. Then,

I wonder….

Does the person he is talking to know they are now also in the bathroom?

I finish my b’ness, and go to the sink to wash my hands. He steps up to where I just left…

Still talking….

Suddenly, I smile when it occurs to me that I will start the jet-engine-hand-dryer next to the sink, and the person on the phone will get a clue where they are.

Guy keeps talking…

Hand blower stops…

Urinal flushes…

NOW they know!

I walk out to the counter and wait in line to order, and the guy strolls up behind me…

…still talking…

NOW I’m listening…

It is no longer his conversation, nor the person he is talking to, either. It belongs to the entire restaurant. BECAUSE HE WON’T GET OFF THE PHONE OR GO TO A PRIVATE PLACE!

“I’m at the church…” he lies.


I smile and place my order, and wait for what is coming…

“Would you like to make that a large size,” the counter person asks me?

I immediately suggest several responses which might be available to the other person on the phone, but my favorite one is:

“Church my ass!”

So I begin to wonder…

Why would he lie?

Is he supposed to be at the church for personal marital or pre-marital counselling?

Is he a pastor?

Why would he lie?

Then he says, “Weeellll, I’m at a McDonald’s near the church…”

And begins to talk about healthier food choices…

I hate those ear piece conversations in a public place. I think they are rude to the people around you, as well as to the person you are talking to. Sometimes, I just wanna say…


By the way, I made it a point to notice the neighborhood around the McDonald’s when I left.

I didn’t see a church anywhere close….


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